A while back I wrote how Words Matter. I've always believe in the power of words. Maybe that is why I love to read so much. In high school, Brother Ruhl (an amazing English teacher) taught me about le mot juste or the perfect word. I remember my first job out of college I was working on a press release and I spent way too much time on one word. I wanted to get it right. I believe in choosing words wisely, because words can be so powerful. They can empower or break a person down.
As my daughter begins to develop language skills, I find myself even more aware of the importance of word choice. We are cautious of the words we let her hear on television or the radio. We are careful of the words we teach her, but she goes to school and even as toddlers they learn so much from their peers.
Language is so much of who we are as people. My mom never allowed us to say the words "shut up" or "stupid." They were the ultimate disrespect. As an adult in my home, "I can't" is like nails on a chalkboard. We have taught our daughter to say "I need help" instead of "I can't"
What words do you let into your home/life? What words do you leave out?
Thursday, April 14, 2016
Monday, April 11, 2016
The Sign
Sometimes you get signs and you don't know what they mean and sometimes it hits you like a ton of bricks and the point is so obvious, there is no ignoring it. Last week, I was hit with a ton of bricks, and it felt surprisingly great!
I am BRCA2 positive, I have written many times about my cancer gene. I've written about my fears when I found out I was having a daughter, healing from losing my mom to cancer, and living without my mom. Last week, I had some screenings done as part of being proactive for early detection. It's always a scary thing, even if the test are routine. You can't help to think "what if." As I was in the waiting room I suddenly felt very sorry for myself. I was the youngest person in the waiting room except for a woman my age who was with her mother. I couldn't stop the tear from rolling down my cheek. My thoughts included "I shouldn't have to get this test done so early," "this should be my mom's routine test," and "I should have my mom here to ask her my questions about the procedure." I am usually a positive thinking person, for a moment, I just wanted things to be different. The lady performing the test was very nice and the test was much easier than the one I had earlier that morning. She asked me many questions, because "we don't get many of these cases." I am always happy to educate. The more we talk about BRCA2 and ovarian cancer the more relevant it becomes and the more we can all learn. I have always thought if someone can learn from my mom's experience than her death wasn't in vain.
As I was leaving, I was feeling a little better, but my heart was still heavy. Then I received a text message and picture from my childhood best friend. The message read:
My mom sent me a message. But the way she sent it to me was so significant. It wasn't a song or a reminder that she is with me. It was a reminder, that she did not leave me here alone. My best friend is my angel on earth. No one knows me better. No one knows where I came from or where I'm going better. No one can relate to my broken heart over the loss of my mom better than she can. I am grateful for her strength, her courage and her love and I know my mom is grateful for it too.
We are not alone!
I am BRCA2 positive, I have written many times about my cancer gene. I've written about my fears when I found out I was having a daughter, healing from losing my mom to cancer, and living without my mom. Last week, I had some screenings done as part of being proactive for early detection. It's always a scary thing, even if the test are routine. You can't help to think "what if." As I was in the waiting room I suddenly felt very sorry for myself. I was the youngest person in the waiting room except for a woman my age who was with her mother. I couldn't stop the tear from rolling down my cheek. My thoughts included "I shouldn't have to get this test done so early," "this should be my mom's routine test," and "I should have my mom here to ask her my questions about the procedure." I am usually a positive thinking person, for a moment, I just wanted things to be different. The lady performing the test was very nice and the test was much easier than the one I had earlier that morning. She asked me many questions, because "we don't get many of these cases." I am always happy to educate. The more we talk about BRCA2 and ovarian cancer the more relevant it becomes and the more we can all learn. I have always thought if someone can learn from my mom's experience than her death wasn't in vain.
As I was leaving, I was feeling a little better, but my heart was still heavy. Then I received a text message and picture from my childhood best friend. The message read:
As I was putting my laundry away this morning, this fell out of the pile of clothes. I don't even know how it got there. All I know is that it put a big smile on my face.
My BFF & My Mami
My mom sent me a message. But the way she sent it to me was so significant. It wasn't a song or a reminder that she is with me. It was a reminder, that she did not leave me here alone. My best friend is my angel on earth. No one knows me better. No one knows where I came from or where I'm going better. No one can relate to my broken heart over the loss of my mom better than she can. I am grateful for her strength, her courage and her love and I know my mom is grateful for it too.
We are not alone!
Friday, April 8, 2016
Dear Daughter: A Random Day with Random Thoughts That Could Be Any Day.
My Dearest Catalina,
You are growing up so fast! There are so many memories I want to keep, like this morning when you said "I see the Chicago water," but you meant the Chicago River. I want to remember you yelling "I have girl power" and the smile on your face when we pick you up at the end of the day. I want to remember your sweetness and your feistyness (even if that isn't a word). I want to remember your innocence and the tantrums. I want to always be challenged by you and always proud of your defiance. I love that you are "bossy," it means you have leadership skills. I want to hold everything about you in my pocket and keep it near me always. I know times will change. You will change. I will change. Life will change. But I hope that you will always feel my unconditional love and the freedom to be who you want to be.
I love you,
#CatalinasMom
You are growing up so fast! There are so many memories I want to keep, like this morning when you said "I see the Chicago water," but you meant the Chicago River. I want to remember you yelling "I have girl power" and the smile on your face when we pick you up at the end of the day. I want to remember your sweetness and your feistyness (even if that isn't a word). I want to remember your innocence and the tantrums. I want to always be challenged by you and always proud of your defiance. I love that you are "bossy," it means you have leadership skills. I want to hold everything about you in my pocket and keep it near me always. I know times will change. You will change. I will change. Life will change. But I hope that you will always feel my unconditional love and the freedom to be who you want to be.
I love you,
#CatalinasMom
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