Working Mom in Progress

I have now been a working mom longer than I was on maternity leave.  It has not been easy these past couple of months, but we have managed to get through it.  Leaving my baby in the morning is still hard, and I still rush to get home to her in the evenings.  Even though I am exhausted, I don’t complain about the late night feedings, because it means I get to spend time with her.  There are just some days, in the wee hours of the morning, when we are too tired to talk.  On those days, we just smile at each other.

I love being a mom, but being a working mom still needs to grow on me.  I am pretty confident it will, because I can’t imagine not working.  I just wish I had more time to spend with my baby.  I’m afraid there is so much I’m missing.  But here is where I remind myself that part of my job as a mom is leading by example. I want her to know she can be superwoman if she wants to be, but no one expects her to be anything other than human. I want her to know if she wants a career and a family she can have both, but it might take me some time to learn for myself before I can teach her how to have both. Here is what I have learned in two months:

·      Many women do this day in and day out.  They are called sheroes.

·      My baby gets mad when I leave her all day, but when she wakes up at 3am and sees me ready to care for her, she ALWAYS forgets she was ever mad at me and gives me her biggest smile.

·      Now that I am a mom to a girl there are things that are more important to me, like how people talk or treat me.  I don’t want her to think it is ever ok for anyone to disrespect her so I demand respect always, because I want her to do the same.

·      That being said some little things that would bother me in the past don’t now, because in the grand scheme of things, they don’t matter.

·      Time management is key.  If I don’t manage my time well, everything will be thrown off. 

·      Sometimes, MANY TIMES, I won’t get everything done that I need to. That’s ok.

·      We can fit a lot of playtime, story time, and tummytime in between the time I get home from work and bedtime.

·      My body and mind will tell me when it’s just too much.  That’s when I need to make sure I ask for help and rest. 

·      My baby is never far from my thoughts. 

·      No matter what happens during the day, I get to go home to love.  I’m so grateful for this.  This is something I will never take for granted.

I’m sure as soon as I think I have being a working mom all figured out, something will change.  But this is a challenge I look forward to.  I already know it is a challenge I will never regret. 

Precious Moments

I've had a lot of great and amazing moments in my life. Being at the President's 2008 campaign headquarters on Election Day, working on Capitol Hill, the many famous politicians, actors, musicians, civil rights leaders I have met, are just a few moments that come to mind in this extraordinary ordinary life I lead.  My life has been truly blessed.

In spite of these exciting moments in my life, I have never been happier. I have never felt like I had truly lived or loved until now. There are no words to express how much I love being a mom.

Those awesome moments in my life have been nothing in comparison to the everyday little moments I share with my daughter. Travel experiences have been replaced with the Catalina Express, moving the bassinet from the living room to the bedroom and vice versa, which involves choo-choo sounds and results in big toothless smiles. The theater has been replaced with a puppet show using her Frida Kahlo and Jane Austin dolls. They chant, "You can be a writer. You can be a painter. You can be anything you want to be." Dance clubs have been replaced with dancing & singing in the nursery. We love lullabies from around the world, baby hip hop lullabies, classical music, pop music, and of course the chicken dance. Political debates are replaced with "Gooos & gaaas" as she lays between my husband & me in the "big bed" and tries to tell us a story. We listen with an intense focus, because she is quite literally the center of our world.

I have concluded that of all my experiences and moments in life, these moments with my daughter are the most fulfilling. I have said it before, but every day it becomes more true. The little things in life are the best things! 

Beautiful Battle Scars

As a mom you learn to get creative.  I learned early on the only way I could get a shower in was if I took the bouncer in the bathroom and put the baby in there.  That normally gives me about a 10-15 minute shower, just what I need.  The other day I was pulling this maneuver and when I got out of the shower the baby was staring at my stretch marks.  I smiled at her and said “Those are my battle scars, aren’t they beautiful?!?!?”  And with her impeccable timing, she smiled back at me, making that statement all the more true.  They are so beautiful.  When I look at them I don’t remember the difficult pregnancy or the difficult labor.  I just think of that smile.

There are some big lessons in my beautiful battle scars for my daughter, and I hope she will always remember them.

1.    My body, with all of its imperfections is beautiful.  It is a body that has allowed me to live and love, and I have the marks to prove it.  Her body, is just as perfect in it’s imperfection (I see no imperfections, but I’m sure she will find some in herself someday) and she should love it for everything it is worth.  She too should take full advantage of her body and live and love in it.

2.    It might seem cliché, but it is what is in the inside that counts.  Physically my body has changed over the years, but I have only grown.  It doesn’t matter what the outside looks like as long as I keep the inside beautiful. 

3.    I will never shy away from any battle or any scar if her health and safety are at stake.  I will always be ready to fight for her and I will wear any scar that results from that with pride.

“Those are my battle scars, aren’t they beautiful?!?!?”  Those scars are my badge of honor, and she is my victory!