Pregnant on the L -- Part 2

It is official! I’m done commuting to work. In July, I wrote about my negative experiences being Pregnant on the L.  I asked for suggestions on how to handle the situations.  I decided on a little social experiment.  With my pregnancy complications, I was not taking the train as often, but when I was I had Starbucks gift cards ready for positive reinforcement.  Any time someone gave up their seat to me on the train, I bought them a cup of coffee.  I gave them a gift card to Starbucks with a note that said:

Dear Friend,

In the 7 plus months of being pregnant very few people have given up their seats for me.  As I get further along, this commute gets harder for me.  Please have a cup of coffee on me.  I can’t tell you how much I appreciate your kindness.

Best Regards,

Cristina

LaCristinaDice.blogspot.com

It actually helped me to feel a little less guilty taking someone’s seat and I got to recognize the goodness in a stranger.  I even met some nice people along the way. 

I am determined to have this baby sooner rather than later so last Friday I decided I would take the train to work. On my way home the train was packed and hot.  I had my Starbucks gift card ready to give away to the first person that gave up their seat to my now hugely pregnant self.  Six stops later I took off my sweater and put the gift card back in my purse.  No one gave up his or her seat.   I was hot, exhausted, and disappointed.  I decided to reflect a little on the gift cards I did give away and those people I did meet!

In three months, I gave away a grand total of 4 gift cards.  I gave the cards to one man and 3 women.  My mom used to say there were angels on earth, these are four of my angels... 

The very first gift card was given to a young man with ripped jeans and he smelled of marijuana.  My guess is most people couldn’t smell it, it was probably just my super smelling sense.  He gave me a seat on a crowded train. I handed him the gift card.  He didn’t even look at it.  He just stuffed it in his pocket.  My guess is he probably thought it was a religious pamphlet or something.  What I loved about him, was that if you looked around the train he looked like the last person who would have given up his seat, but there he was breaking stereotypes and being a gentleman when the so called better-dressed men were not.   About a month later I saw him on the train platform.  He smiled and gave me a nod of recognition.  What stood out most was the sincerity of which he smiled at me.  It felt like we were old friends.  When you live in a big city like Chicago those rare moments with a stranger remind you that you are more than just a sardine on a packed train.  I don’t know his name, but I will always remember him and I know he is a good person. 

The next person I gave a card to was a cute skinny woman.  She gave me her seat and said she had recently had a baby so she could completely relate.  I gave her the gift card and she said I was just the sweetest person ever.  I beg to differ; she gave me a seat so she must be pretty sweet herself.  I also hoped that after I have my baby I can get down to even double her size. 

Then there was a Latina with an accent who gave me her seat.  I gave her the gift card and she said “oh my god, what a blessing.”  I assured her that the blessing was getting to sit down on the ride home.  We made each other happy. 

My last gift card was given to my favorite generous seat giver.  She was the researcher.  When I gave her the card she seemed fascinated by it.  Later that day I received an email from her:

Hi Cristina,

We met for a second on the Blue Line train this afternoon when I gave you my seat and you gave me a SBUX card. I just wanted to say, I posted the card with your note attached to my FB page and my circle of friends and sort-of-friends (well, it's Facebook) have been commenting like crazy. I don't know if it makes you feel any better to know this, but a few of my friends said they experienced the same thing while pregnant—people just refused to make eye contact. One friend told a story about standing with her crutches and a broken leg on the train. Just wanted to say, I love your little experiment and thank you for prompting me and others to think and talk about this stuff.



Also, thank you for doing such good work! (I read your bio on your blog.) Amazing. 



Best of luck to you and enjoy being a mom!

Regards,


Alisa

This was confirmation that my experiment, though small had worked.  It got people talking.  It made people think.  AND maybe, just maybe, it will make someone think and give their seat up to a pregnant woman, a disabled person, an elderly person, someone carrying a child or someone else in need. 

In conclusion, while I experienced a lot of jerks while Pregnant on the L, there are still good caring people out there.  I prefer to focus on them!