The Haircut

Fifteen years ago, my mom's hair started dramatically falling out from her chemo treatments.  She asked my uncle to shave her head so it would be less dramatic.  She was heartbroken.

Fifteen years later, I decided to not wait for the dramatic and asked my uncle to shave my head.  I had my 3 year old daughter help.  I wanted her to learn that it was just a haircut and feel a part of it instead of just coming home one day and finding I didn't have hair anymore.  For me, shaving my head for the first time (we will probably have to shave it all off in a week or two) was less painful.  I felt like I took control and I know there is a valuable lesson I am teaching my daughter.  I had been so afraid of explaining my coming hair loss to my daughter, but for her it was fun. It was not something scary or strange, it was just something we did. She has no reason to think or believe that hair or physical appearance can define you.  I hope that I can keep her that way.  I hope that she never has to know the emotional and physical pain of cancer.  I hope Uncle Bryan never has to give her a haircut.  I hope that she will never look at me and know the gravity of the illness I faced or my true strength.  I hope that for her I will always simply be fun, loving, silly mommy.

BEFORE

I shaved my Uncle Bryan's hair first, then he saved mine.

 

CUT AND TRIM

AFTER

 MOMMY & HER BABY GIRL

 

It is odd that it took shaving my hair off to get here, but today, more than ever in my life, I feel strong and beautiful.