Maybe this blog should be
prefaced with “you done set me off now.”
I have never held back when
it came to social media. I have always
been open. I know a lot of people
disagree with that decision, but I have always wanted to share the good and the
bad, and encourage dialogue. If I’m going through something so is someone else
out there. If I can make someone smile
then why not share? But recently, I made
the decision to show less of my daughter on social media. A decision I made very easily after a
facebook comment was posted referring to her as a “hoochie momma.” I know
people will think I am over-reacting, but I’m not subjecting my daughter to be
degraded even if it is just a joke.
I am raising a mini-feminist. I use this term loosely to mean a girl who is
proud to be a girl and who knows that her gender should not hold her back from her
dreams. I want her to have
self-confidence and to believe in herself.
If she doesn’t believe in herself, who will (other than her father and
me of course)? I have said before that the
cards are stacked against her, because she is a Latina. But I believe, if we work hard to create a
safe space at home for her to grow, learn, and dream then the realities of the
world will be more manageable and she can overcome any obstacle.
I don’t think, as women, we
should be calling other women “hoochie momma” or the b-word or any other
derogatory term. I know some women see
calling each other “bitches” is cute or funny.
Maybe they see it as a way to reclaim power over the word like the
N-word in hip-hop (a topic for another day). But I believe in the
power of words. I would much rather
spend my energy empowering women then reclaiming power in a word. I would never call my BFF or other friends my
bitches, because they are so much better than that. They are my sisters. They are queens and the language I use should
reflect that. I want my daughter to know
this. She should respect other
girls. She should foster those
relationships, not see other girls as competition or the enemy. I don’t want to hear other women call each
other “hoochie mommas” and I definitely don’t want them calling my 2-month-old
daughter one. Again, some may think I’m
taking this too serious, but I’m raising a girl, this is serious business.
I am by no means a public
figure, but I can now understand why public figures are so protective of their
children. Jay-Z and Beyonce rarely show
their daughter Blue Ivy, but when she appeared in a video recently, I heard
people say “she’s not that cute.” Kanye
and Kim Kardashian released a picture of their daughter and people started
accusing Kim of getting her baby’s eyebrows waxed. These are babies we are talking about. Leave them alone. They are all beautiful baby girls. Thick eyebrows, unibrows or no eyebrows,
these baby girls are gorgeous.
We need to teach our children
that whether they are the daughter of someone famous or a nine to fiver, it is
who they are as a person that matters not what they see in the mirror (or more
accurately, what others see in a picture). These are just babies, but our girls are
smart. They start to pick up on subtle
and not so subtle comments about body images.
We need to teach our girls that math and science are more important than
appearances. Let’s get them interested
in the chemistry behind make-up, the physics behind the heels, and the biology
behind their beautiful curves. Let’s
teach them about the history of their people and remind them that they are
fierce because of the strength of their ancestors. My daughter is a baby, but already she is
beautiful, tough, smart, perceptive, intuitive, sweet, loving, joyous, and a
fighter. Notice no, where in that list
is “hoochie momma.”
Over reacting or not, there
will be no Girls Gone Wild in my house, just this over protective, over
analyzing, Mom Gone Wild. My daughter
needs girl power, so I’ll save her pictures for those who I know will
appreciate her for her complicated nature and empower her!
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| My Daughter's Message Is Worth Ending With |
