The Most Important Person In Her World

The last few days have been difficult for my family.  The stomach bug hit and it hit hard.  Thankfully the baby has not gotten it, but her father had it and then it hit me.  In less than six hours from when I first experienced symptoms I had fainted and was non functional.  I had to go to the Emergency Room.  I thought I would go, get a bag of fluid in an IV and return home shortly.  Two days later and seven IV bags of fluid later I was fighting with doctors and nurses to let me go home to my fussy baby who was missing her momma.  My poor husband, who still wasn’t feeling himself, was charged with taking care of a newborn all by himself.  That would be enough to make anyone exhausted, but he had the added bonus of her having meltdowns because her mom was missing in action.  After finally threatening to “elope” from the hospital, a term I learned as I contemplated pulling my IV out and making a run for it, my discharge papers were completed and I made it home to my baby.

The reunion was so sweet.  I gushed over my baby and she responded by falling asleep in my arms within five minutes.  We all have our own way of showing love.   The next day she was fussy if she was in anyone’s arms but mine.  She would sleep in her bassinet, but needed to know I was near.  I had managed to traumatize my baby by the time she hit the 3 week mark.  My guilt from being away grew, but I was also comforted in knowing that she still needed me. I realized something very important that I could have never imagined.  I am the most important person in her world. 

Her entire life (even in utero) she had never been that long without me.  I am her world.  And while, I know she will grow and she will be loved by many for at least 12 years I will continue to be the most important person in her world. Then her friends will probably take over for the next 10 years but I’ll be waiting patiently.  And When I leave this earth and hopefully she is grown up and a mother and a grandmother I will still be irreplaceable in her world.  What an amazing concept.  It is a lot of pressure, but it is true, being a mom is the most important job I will ever have.  It is inspiring me to be a better person.  No matter how exhausted I am, I am ready to be the mom she deserves.  And I will spend everyday striving to show her that SHE is the most important person in my world.