40 Days of No Facebook

I gave up Facebook for lent, and I was hoping for some great revelation.  Something along the lines of “it was great to spend more time with my family.”  Or maybe something like “It was a relief to not have to come up with a witty status update that didn’t involve the weather.”   Sadly my revelation was simply, “this is so inconvenient.” I did not learn sacrifice or improve my relationship with God in any way. 

I am Board President of the Chicago Chapter of the National Organization for Women, in order to organize, I use Facebook as a tool daily.  Whether it is for networking or sharing information.  I will admit, I had to sneak on there quickly to get some stuff done that I couldn’t do without it, like to share a Facebook event invitation. I tried to come up with creative ways to do what I needed to do, but in the end Facebook was often the best tool.  I guess the positive is, I am efficiently using that tool. 

During lent, technically a little more than 40 days, my baby has grown up so much.  She has rolled over, crawled, started sitting by herself and started eating baby food.  She has grown so fast.  I feel like many out of state family and friends have missed out on seeing this.  The next picture I post (that only friends and family can see) is going to make them shocked.   I missed sharing my pride and joy with people who have known me for so long.

I feel like I have missed what’s trending in the world.  I’ve missed that cute youtube video.  I’ve missed what the popular song is.  I’ve missed the story about heroism or that tragic disgusting story.  Don’t get me wrong, I still read and watch lots and lots of news, but I miss seeing what other people think is interesting or worthy of sharing. I missed knowing what big events are happening in people’s lives.  I know there is so much I have missed out on.

I really missed not being on Facebook during the elections.  I missed what people were saying or debating.  I missed staying connected while also trying to run the CNOW PAC.  Social media has become a necessary part of campaigns. 

A few days ago, the talented Gabriel Garcia Marquez died. I missed having people to mourn with.  Marquez was the Latin American author.  He made realism magico popular and received the Nobel Prize in literature for his work.  He painted a picture of Colombia that was something more than La Violencia (both the era & the violence).  He was famous for his novel A Hundred Years of Solitude, but one of my all time favorite novels is Love in a time of Colera.  Without Facebook, I wasn’t connected to my friends who felt the deep sadness of a world without such a gifted writer in it.  I missed sharing that loss and discussing it. 

In conclusion, the benefits and convenience of Facebook out weigh the distractions of it. I learned that Facebook is now a common part of my life as email is.  I wouldn’t give up email or my telephone, so I shouldn’t give up Facebook.  I just have to remember that everything in life is ok in moderation.

La Leche

I did it!  

There are so many things about pregnancy and being a mother that I planned, but did not work out.  When I set a goal that my daughter would be exclusively breastfed until she was 6 months, I knew it would not be an easy task.  But I did it!

For when I'm doing
my "motherly duties." 

This isn’t a judgment against those who couldn’t or chose not to breastfeed.  Everyone has to make the decision about what is right for their own situation.  

This is all 100% a big pat on my own back.  This is about me. 

This is about me making a decision that what was best for my baby was for her to only drink breast milk for the first six months of her life to lower the risk of her getting diabetes. 

This was about me knowing that exclusively breastfeeding for 6 months could help lower my risk of getting ovarian cancer.  I kept this valuable information with me at 3am when I was exhausted.  I will do anything to increase the possibility that I will be on this earth to meet my grandchildren. 

This is about me returning to work after only 6 weeks of maternity leave, but not giving up on a goal I set. 

Antique Breast Pump
(I didn't try this one)

This is about being a working mom and the president of a board for a women’s rights organization, but still finding the time to remain committed to breastfeeding. 

This is about that day I had to get back to a reporter on a deadline and I had a desk full of work, but I multitasked and prioritized so that I could still manage to bring my daughter her dinner.  

This is about, in Illinois, according to the CDC, only 11% of babies are exclusively breastfed for 6 months.

This is about two weeks ago when my milk supply dwindled and the milk in the freezer was gone.  I ate carrots, pumped, ate garlic, pumped, ate oatmeal, pumped, drank nursing tea (a lot of nursing tea), pumped, took fenugreek, pumped, called the lactation counselor, power pumped, drank lots of water, and woke up and pumped even when the baby was sleeping.

This was about me, wanting to give my daughter this one simple gift. 

And I did it!

Any Given Morning

As I took a sip from the mug on the bathroom counter with a little girl's eyes glued to me I had a flashback of my mom. I remember watching her get ready for work. She always had music on, a cup of coffee, and a smile on her face. She must have been tired, stressed, and rushed, but she wore a smile. Minus the coffee (I was drinking tea), this morning's scene could have been from so many years ago with me being the daughter instead of the mother. We had music, chatter, and lots of smiles. The adoration in my daughter's eyes melted my heart, and the warmth I could feel convinced me somewhere my mom is watching down on me and proud of the mom she taught me to be. 

You win some, You lose some

I'm exhausted.  This hasn't been my usual election day. I didn't work a precinct or help in a campaign office all day.  I wasn't up at 3am after going to bed at midnight.  I am sitting here trying to figure out why I'm so tired.  Then I realized.  I worked, and then I played with my baby.  I finally got to see her roll over for the first time.  It was the highlight of my day! After witnessing this milestone, I went to the campaign office to help with the results.  It wasn't my usual election day, but it was definitely a busy day.  I also realized I have had months of sleeping only 3 hours at a time.  I wake up at 3am everyday.  I've had months of a mommy campaign going on here.  Maybe, I didn't do as much as I usually would have on a campaign, but I did my part.  I'm going to cut myself a little slack.  Even if we didn't win the election, I won the working mom award today.  I'm going to enjoy that victory and reward myself with some sleep. 

You Are A Mother Now

It is election season, my favorite time of any year. I love the excitement of a good campaign. Generally, I like strategizing. I edit all that annoying mail or suggest press or field plans. I use to get paid for it, but now that I have a grown up job (read: boring in comparison) I only get to help on evenings and weekends. I have learned that the best campaign work happens walking the streets and knocking on doors. That is where I can learn the most for strategizing. That's where I can get a real sense of what people are feeling.

On Saturday, I canvassed, and I was reminded "your a mother now" from the minute I was about to walk out the door. My daughter gave me the dirtiest where-do-you-think-you-are-going look. It was Saturday and that mother guilt was strong. Saturday is usually her day. I knew finding balance would be hard, but I could never have imagined the guilt I would feel that came with being a working and active mother. 

I made it to the campaign office that was buzzing with energy. I walked a precinct, and as I expected, I learned a lot about the campaign and district. After, the physical effects of "you are a mother now" took effect. I have been told that my emergency c-section could take a year or years to recover from. I hear these words but grasping them is more difficult.  Not being able to do what I use to do easily before my pregnancy frustrates me. "You are a mother now"echoes in my head, and I worry that balance isn't in the stars for me.

Later that night I sat in bed with my daughter. We were playing the laughing game. We stared at each other. She would laugh so I laughed, which made her laugh more. It always becomes a laughing cycle. My husband said, "It's been years since you have been this happy. In fact, I don't even know if I have ever seen you this happy."  I smile at him and tell him, "You haven't, because I have never been this happy."  

The high of a campaign victory is nothing in comparison to her laugh.  But while, being a mother has changed everything, I am still me. And it is because of that laughter that I know I may never find balance, but I can come close.  The work I do is to make the world she lives in better.  I don't have to give up what I am good at.  I'm often told "you are a mother now" in reference to everything I can't do, but I think maybe it should be used more as inspiration.  Inspiration to do what I love and I am good at, while shaping the world we live in.  I understand that maybe I will have to make Saturday morning sacrifices, but that will make Saturday nights all the more sweeter.

Yes, I am a mother now.

I missed it

I missed it.  Today, my daughter flipped over during tummy time.  I’m excited, because we spent the three-day weekend and last night working on this and she finally did it.  It means she is growing up.  It is a milestone she needed to reach and a sign that she is developing right on schedule.  This is all great news. BUT…I missed it.

This is undoubtedly one of many milestones I will be missing.  I’m a working mom.  I should get use to it, but knowing this and practicing this are two different things. In addition to being a working mom, I’m a new mom, and I want to be there to experience everything with my baby. Once again, I have a newfound respect for all moms, the ones who are able to stay home and be there for those moments and the ones who aren’t able to be there for those moments and overcome the heartbreak.

 My husband said, it was our work with our daughter that taught her and that doesn’t change whether we were with her or not when she finally turned over.  I take a little comfort in this.  I can’t always be there with her, but I hope it is what I teach her that will make her successful even in my absence. 

Tummy Time

Ears pierced: It’s a girl thing (Part 2)

In September of last year, I took a break from my pregnancy complications to discuss ear piercing in "Life is full of barbaric customs." --Vada Sultanfuss. My husband was opposed to doing something permanent to my daughter’s body without giving her a say and I wanted to go with tradition.  In our family baby girls get their ears pierced as newborns.  My husband’s view was much more feminist than my traditional view. 

My daughter did get her ears pierced recently and my husband held her as it happened.  We decided to go with tradition, and I have to say the moment though petrifying for me, as a mother, could not have been more meaningful. 

Recovering

On my birthday we took my daughter to get her ears pierced and in attendance, besides her father and me, were two aunts and her three older girl cousins.  We stood by her as she had this permanent change made to her body, one that all of us ladies had also endured as babies.  We winced.  We worried. We smiled.  My daughter cried, but was over it in minutes.  I hope the spirit of that day will live on.  She will have many permanent life-altering moments in her future, but she will get through them with the support of some of the most amazing females in her life, and her feminist father.

Team get Catalina's Ear's Pierced

+ Positive +

One year ago today, I peed on a stick and stared at the plus sign in disbelief. All I could do was laugh. My husband must have thought I was crazy.  I had an important meeting to go to so I regained my composure and went to my meeting. I came home and peed on two more sticks. All were positive, I was going to be a mom. 

We had only been trying a month. I had been on birth control for almost fifteen years for medical reasons that threatened to make it difficult to conceive. According to Latino standards I was old. But here I was about to embark on the greatest adventure of my life, parenthood. 

What a difference a year makes, now we are parents to the most amazing and beautiful baby girl. I barely remember my life a year ago yesterday, maybe it is because I never truly lived until a year ago today. 

Catalina’s Playlist

Only music can take you on a journey through life. It can transport you to a different place and time or it can make the present absolutely perfect. My daughter has her own playlist. Many of the songs she listened to in utero, a couple we later added to the rotation. There is definitely something for everyone so we figured we’d share at the very least a portion of it.

In the hospital Catalina would fall asleep to
Debussy's Clair De Lune.

Classical Music

1. Claire De Lune by Claude Debussy

Catalina’s favorite fall-asleep song. This is what I would play for her, when I was stuck in bed in the hospital after my c-section and I couldn’t pick her up. I felt helpless, but through music I could sooth her and remind her of life inside of me.

2. Minuet in D Minor by Bach

3. Minuet in G Major by Bach

4. Gymnopedie by Erik Satie

5. Air by Bach

6. Arioso by Bach

7. Brahm’s Lullaby

8. Canon in D by Pachelbel

9. Eine Kleine Nachtmusik by Mozart

10. Fur Elise by Beethoven

11. Greensleeves

12. Ode to Joy by Beethoven

13. Turkis March by Mozart

14. Spring by Vivaldi

15. Minuet by Boccherini

These were the songs that Catalina first listened to. They were the ones that made her happy in utero and soothed her when she was first born. As I write this blog, it is these songs that she is napping to.


Meaningful

16. Three little birds by Bob Marley

Catalina smiles while listening to
Bob Marley's Three Little Birds

The idea for this blog came last night. My daughter and I were playing and I put this song on. The smile on her face was priceless and it made my heart ache. When my cousin Mikey was five, he had an interest in Reggae music. I told him, he couldn’t like reggae and not know about Bob Marley so I bought him the Bob Marley Legend CD. This was one of his favorite songs. When he passed away 12 too short years later, we were at his wake. Our five-year old cousin Bella was sitting inconsolable. This song happened to be playing. I told her how it was Mikey’s favorite song and we sang it together. “singing ‘don’t worry about a thing, cause every little thing is gonna be alright.” I bought her and her sister the same CD and this was their favorite song on it.  It is with that history, that only a Bob Marley song can have, that I sang it to my daughter. It was a moment I shared with my daughter, "the girls," and with my Mikey. In that moment his absence was heartbreaking, but his presence was felt just as strong. 

17. Cielito Lindo by Marta Gomez

This was the song my husband and I used to cut our wedding cake to. Cielito Lindo is a classic Mexican song and this version is sung beautifully by a Colombian. My baby is both Mexican and Colombian. This song is a little mix of her cultures. It is a mixture of her parents and her grandparents. It is the song that played at the wedding that would lead to her birth almost a year later.

18. Cali Pachaneguero by Grupo Niche

This is the song that we dance to in order to remember my mother. It is the song that brings us closer to her. It is the last song my mom danced to. We honor her by dancing to this song, and Catalina laughs. Catalina won’t meet her grandmother in this lifetime, but she will know her.

19. Madre e Hija by La India

This is a beautiful mother-daughter song. It is one of those songs that has new meaning now that I am a mom to a daughter.

20. Brown Eyed Girl by Van Morrison

My mom use to sing this song to me, and call me her brown-eyed girl, and now I sing it to me daughter. It is another fun song for us to dance to, and her giggles echo. I hear my mother in those echoes.


Mami-Daughter

21. Lucky by Kate Edmonson

This song is the new tradition. This is our mommy-daughter song that’s special just for the two of us to share. I first heard it after Catalina was born and I put it on her playlist, because I am so lucky to be her mom. 

22. Blue by Beyonce

Beyonce’s song to her daughter. Catalina’s mom can relate. “Sometimes these walls seem to cave in on me, When I look in your eyes, I feel alive.”

23. Forever Young by Audra Mae & The Forest Rangers

My wish for her.


Socially Concsious baby

24. Hallelujah by Beatriz Luengo

25. Be the Change by Kate Edmonson

Because it is her father & my hope that we will raise a socially conscious daughter who knows she can and should make the world a better place.


Just for Fun

26. Habanera by Bizet from Carmen

27. Kiss the Girl Colbie Caillat from The

28. Hakuna Matata from The Lion King

29. Somewhere Over the Rainbow by IsraelKamakawiwo’ole

She also needs to know how to just have fun.


For Obvious Reasons

30. Catalina by Fonseca

This is just some of the songs on Catalina’s playlist. She looks nothing like me, but she has acquired my love of music.

UPDATE:

I don't know how I could have forgotten this one.  But Sam Cooke always makes Catalina happy and growing up, he was one of Uncle Carlos' and mom's favorites! 

What do you think is a must add to Catalina's playlist?