Springtime

There was a day last week I thought I was physically going to die from the body aches. I got the flu while recovering from chemo treatment. Of course I didn't die. I didn't have time to die. I am learning how to balance being a single mom and recover from cancer. Dying would interfere with both.  Divorce and Cancer are life altering events, and some how, I'm managing.

I don't know how or where the strength has come from, but I find it always comes. Don't get me wrong, it is hard. Last week I had to throw in the towel and stay with my parents. It was a horrible feeling knowing I couldn't take care of my child and myself. But a friend wisely told me that I made a good mom decision. Maybe that's how I'm coping, one good mom decision at a time.

Next week, I will undergo my last chemo treatment.  I hope it will be my last one ever.  I hope that I can move on with my life and never look back, but the truth is, I will always look back.  This is my rebirth.  This is where I become the new me, the me I was meant to be. I feel myself changing every day.  I feel the new found confidence growing.  I feel peace and love fight the bitterness.  I know that I am exactly where I need to be at this point in my life. I know that it is springtime, the time of renewed life and rebirth.

I have been blessed to have been so supported through these experiences, and my wish for my support network is that they too may enjoy the renewed life of spring, though maybe a bit less dramatically.

April Showers...